What A Parent Should Know About Seeking Full Custody

Most parents do not envision needing to fight to prove they can provide the best home for their child. Yet, everyday parents across the country must go to court to seek full custody. Preparation, follow-through and consistency are keys to success.

Parents who have primary or shared physical custody of a child may want sole legal custody as well. This means that a parent would make all major decisions regarding his child’s health, education and welfare without consulting the mother.

Preparing For Court

Seeking sole custody requires a lot of preparation. Understanding what you need to accomplish in order to prove your case is critical. Begin by keeping detailed records on everything in your life related to being a competent parent—from medical records of doctor visits and school records to financial information detailing your ability to provide for your child. It’s also helpful to keep a daily diary of everything you do with and for the children.

Find out if there are any custody guidelines in your state. Guidelines act as a starting point when determining how custody should be decided. The court uses these guidelines to determine what “fit parent” standard is used, or simply put, what makes one parent better than the other. In some states, sole physical custody is given when a “clear majority” (more than 50 percent) of criteria are met, while others require that all factors be addressed.

Determine specifically what you would like to see changed in an attempt to meet the standard set by your state’s guidelines.

Understanding exactly what is needed and why it is needed will help when preparing for court. Know who will be testifying on your behalf—your friends, family members, or even yourself. Make a list of possible questions that may be asked by the judge and how best to answer them. Be prepared to defend your position and answer any “why” questions about your ability to provide for your child.

The most important person to convince is the judge, so spend time getting all information together properly before going to court. This can sometimes take months and nothing should be left out.

What to Look for in a Lawyer

Once you have an idea of what to expect in court, look for a lawyer who specializes in custody cases. Choosing the right lawyer can be the difference between success and failure.

When choosing a lawyer, it is important that your personalities match, especially when emotions are at their highest. Make sure they truly understand the laws withinyour state and that they will be aggressive when necessary. Most importantly, make sure you both agree on how you want to proceed with the case. You do not want any surprises during trial—this could result in irreparable harm to your case. Essentially, you should have a preliminary strategy mapped out beforehand.

The Process of Filing for Custody

Once you and your lawyer have come to an agreement on how to proceed with a custody case, it is time to file for custody. In every state, there are different forms that must be filled out and submitted. Be aware there may be deadlines you must meet in order for your claim to remain intact. Once filed, the case will be assigned a Court Case Number (abbreviated to “CCN”) that you should keep written down and available at all times.

What to do Once Everything is Filed

It is important to stay in constant contact with your lawyer. If there are any changes in your personal life or how you provide for your child it’s best to inform them immediately so they can inform the court. It may also be necessary for you to file updated income information and submit it directly to the judge or mail it overnight for their review. The last thing you want is to be unprepared when going before a judge. Contacting them frequently offers reassurance that they have all of the information needed.

General Advice and Guidelines to Ensure the Best Result:

Be organized, there is no excuse for missing a court date- You should never lose track of your court date. If you are unable to attend, you must contact the judge and reschedule. Missing a hearing can result in permanent damage to your case.

Be Enthusiastic when starting a custody claim- Judges do not want to see any sign of reluctance or distrust. Remember, children’s best interests are their priority, so being negative about anything could sway the judge against you.

Be truthful and open as much as possible and remember that honesty goes a long way.

Be consistent with information provided- The more up front you are with providing accurate information, the less likely it will be questioned by opposing counsel or brought up later during trial. Always be honest and transparent with your lawyer- Lawyers’ jobs can be difficult enough, make things easier on yourself and your lawyer by making sure they possess all of the facts from day one. This can not only ensure you are on the same page, but will also help avoid any surprises in court that could potentially damage your case.

Do your research– The more you know about your specific state’s child custody laws the better. Familiarize yourself with current guidelines and how they apply to your situation before going to court.

Be ready for court at all times– Make sure you have everything ready for trial ahead of time, this includes evidence, witnesses, paperwork and anything else that might
be relevant or helpful. It is a good idea to have a briefcase or folder organized neatly to present important documents when necessary. Never go into a courtroom unprepared, it can lead to disastrous results. Remember your family has to continue life after court- Winning is great, but to what end.

Be mindful that life will continue for everyone involved regardless of the judge’s ruling. Keep your eyes on the prize, remembering what is most important. The short-term satisfaction of a victory in the courtroom fades quickly if the cost was your future relationship with your child.

Be mindful of social media, everyone is always watching– It is important to remember that what you post on social media can be used against you in court. Take a look at your privacy settings and make sure anything that might put your case at risk is removed or set as private.

Remember: When the best interest of the child standard is applied, it behooves a parent to demonstrate qualities of being self-sufficient, responsible, mature, patient and caring. Maintain composure under pressure when dealing with difficult people in stressful situations. Judges are looking for parents who will put their children’s needs first; Parents need to clean up their past mistakes and present themselves as a capable father or mother. Seeking sole custody is a big undertaking and requires careful planning to be successful. It’s important that you understand what it takes before starting this process so we recommend doing your research first. From the guidelines in your state, to finding an attorney who understands divorce law, there are many things you need to consider when seeking full custody of your child or children. If you feel like some topics might require more guidance than others, contact Lawyers Collaborative today for a free consultation with one of our experienced attorneys who can help answer any questions you may have about getting full physical custody of your kids after separation from their other parent. We’re here 24/7 and ready to assist!